New Year....feelings... reflections & aspirations

Although the news of our uncle's death was a shock to us at Christmas time, Ed and I have now reached a stage of acceptance. We now feel the only solution to our lives is to move forward and hang on to the fact that his spirit will always be with us.

It came out of the blue this morning when I woke up, my mind was full of mixed positive emotions. I decided to take my medication....eat breakfast and take a walk to help clear my head. It was a refreshing walk albeit that the weather was being very tempermental....sun-rain-wind-sun repeating itself over and over. I got home feeling quite refreshed and my mind was a lot clearer. I sat down and momentarily reflected on the past year. I found that it has somewhat helped me to regain my positivity and philosphy of life, which is to trust and believe in oneself...to have compassion for others...and to accept what will be will be in the face of adversity.

I had been thinking over Christmas of looking into a more holistic approach to help my body recover from tx. I talked to a friend (with Hepc) who suggested that some alternative remedies could have a positive affect on my well-being. Consequently with the New Year in and my aspirations regarding my health at the fore of my mind, I decided that alongside my diet of fresh fruit and veg etc I would try some remedies. Firstly I did some research into these remedies and found that the specific one's that I wanted should not have any adverse affects on my liver. I bought evening primrose oil for poor immunity, omega-3 to help poor circulation & to balance cholesterol levels, milk thistle which acts as an antioxidant in helping the liver produce new liver cells. I also included an Australian bush flower essence for irritability & impatience, and viridian for Candida Albicans (bacterial infection in mouth). Viridian is used to build up bacteria that have been destroyed by antibiotics therefore, maintaing a healthy digestive system. I already take gogi berries and a regular intake of pro biotic drinks that were recommended to me, so I am positive that my health will improve as time goes on. Of course the only downside to taking these remedies is that my future Hepc Specialist may ask me to stop taking them if he is to retreat me in in a few month's time. That I will find out when I have my first appointment with him.

My thoughts turned to my application to become a tutor for the Expert Patient Programme. Having done a six week course on how to self-manage ones life with a long-term or chronic illness, I have put to use most of what I have learned, and now feel in control of my illness and not the other way around. I now feel that I want to teach people who have a long-term or chronic illness, and feel lost or out of control with their lives, the value of self-management skills.

I was thinking of the conversation I had yesterday with my good friend Lizzy who lives in London...always has me in stitches LOL. In her spare time she house sits moggies, and I believe she now has five families of moggies to contend with. Lizzy chatted away about spending her Christmas with the moggies, which she really enjoyed. We sometimes invite her over for Christmas but this year as she was busy catting, we spent Christmas Eve and day on our own. In the summer we used to go for long walks along Richmond river banks, never getting tired, always enjoying the scenery, people, pubs and restaurants. An activity which I have missed so much in the last two-three years due to Hepc and sides from tx. So my thoughts have now moved forward to the springtime when we will meet Lizzy at Richmond.

In February we are going to meet Helen & Eric, close friends of ours, and have a meal at Presso's which is an Italian restaurant situated in Maldon. I am looking forward to that as we don't get to see each other that often, and it gives us a chance to have a really good natter!!!

My eyes gazed towards a portrait painting that I did of a 'man of the plateau', (in Tibet) from Michael Palins book Himalaya. I had forgotton that I had painted this before my tx, which was probably to do with the side effects of tx. I felt a rush of excitement at the prospects of starting up my art work again.

There is so much more that I would like to achieve but my main aspiration is to focus on staying as healthy as possible.

I almost feel guilty for feeling this good so soon after the loss of Uncle at Christmas, but with my New Year feelings of...reflections and aspirations I can only say that I feel this year is going to be a positive one!!!

Happy New Year to you all, and good luck and wishes to all you JJ'S, I hope it goes well for you, I will be rooting for you.



Marie